My Heart's Desire

Here is a challenge from STM for this week for our blogs, check it out:

http://www.scrapthatmoment.com/boards/showthread.php?t=7063

My heart's desire probably will resemble several others, I know my friend Jami and I have a lot in common with our desires (check her blog out: http://www.myscrapblog.com/jami/) but I also think that is because our family, especially our husbands mean so much to us. Similar to Jami's blog, I also am married to the most wonderful man in the world and I almost lost him back in April. I will talk more about that in a moment. My heart's desire is no secret: It is that my husband and I can live to a ripe old age together and be able to enjoy each other and our families as we grow old together. I hope that we will have good health to be able to travel and see as much of this great Earth that we can. We both enjoy fishing and I would love to be able to travel to exotic places and fish in some of the most unusual places and see some of nature's greatest wonders with the man I love. I hope that we are able to enjoy our grandchildren and take them to places that we were unable to take our own children so we can experience new sights and sounds together. We both have talked about opening up a bed & breakfast near a lake or river, because we both enjoy the serenity only watching and listening to the water lapping the shore can give you. I hope this is something we both can enjoy in the future. Keith would love to be a hunting/fishing guide for the men visiting our B&B while I would have little workshops for the women with cooking, scrapbooking, crafts! We both love meeting people and sharing/teaching our skills/hobbies.

My biggest desire though is that my husband take better care of himself so we can have those years together. My husband is a heavy smoker of about 28 years. He is overweight by about 80 lbs and carries most of it in his gut. Both of these mean he is a heart attack waiting to happen. He had back surgery in April for a herniated disc, and a surgery that should have only taken about 1-1/2 hours turned into a 3 hour procedure. Because his was on his belly, pressure from his gut pushed fluid into his lungs and the anesthesiologist was unable to wean him off of the ventilator. A surgery that should have been a one day stay, turned into Keith being admitted to Intensive Care on the vent and a subsequent week long stay. A big factor in his respiratory problems was his weight and his smoking. He did subsequently stop for 4 WEEKS and as soon as he went back to work, he started right back up! I was so furious with him, and I still am. Since I am a nurse, he has heard all the data, risk factors, etc. but he continues to ruin his health. I have tried anger, pleading and threats, including, how do you think your children and your granddaughter are going to feel when they loose daddy/papa when he is so young. I am only 43 and he is only 44 but he looks 10-15 years older than me. I have told him that because he has chosen to ruin his health that I shouldn't be punished that he cannot do anything. He can't hardly walk anywhere without panting and having difficulty breathing and the pain in his back and feet is tremendous (from his weight). I have tried to convince him to eat healthier and I only buy and cook nutritious/low fat/low cal meals. He consequently stops and picks up a hamburger or pizza on the way home if he works late.

I know this may sound just horrible, but I do feel this way right now. I am still young and have many plans once my children are grown and that includes traveling with lots of sightseeing involved. I have no desire to push a wheelchair around or wait on my husband in his scooter or power chair. I should not be punished from doing things I want to do and have worked hard for to sit at home and take care of a debilitated man who has done this to himself. So my greatest desire is that my husband get a clue and start taking care of himself so we can enjoy our future together, not separately!

Thinking about our soldiers and veterans today!

I have a heavy heart today. Tomorrow is Veteran's Day in the US. A celebration to thank our soldiers and war veterans for all they have given for our Country. My 20 year old son, Steven, fits both of those descriptions. He is a soldier in the Army Reserves and served one year almost to the day in Iraq. He just informed me Monday that there is a big possibility that he may have to go back over there soon. Apparently, the division his reserve unit is short an additional 800 soldiers to ship to Iraq. He has applied for admission to WestPoint Military Academy for the Fall 2006 school year. I am very concerned that he will be called up again before he finds out if he is accepted to WestPoint. I am pretty positive that he will get accepted. He has the grades (4.0 in college classes he is taking right now), he has the ACT score, 29 (minimum for acceptance is 20). He had a 3.69 grade average in high school with honors and college AP classes and he has the military/war experience. He has scored expert in all his weaponry training and has 4 medals that he received while in Iraq. My heart is heavy because: #1-if he is called back, and returns home safely, he will be 22 before he can go to WestPoint which means he would be 26 before graduating, #2-will he make it home, #3-he's done his time, its someone else's turn.

I guess the reason this is bothering me so much is that I am having the same feelings I had before we found out he was going the last time. I knew before he had even gone to boot camp that he would be going to Iraq and I feel the same again. It scares me, will he make it back safely this time?

I grew up a military brat with my father retiring from the Armyand my father served 2 years in Vietnam, and I was married to Steven's father for 4 years while he was in the Army, so the military way of life is nothing new to me and I feel that I am well aware of how the military works. I am supportive of the soldiers and their beliefs and very proud of my families military experience. I am well aware of the risks involved and the possibility that my son may not come back alive, but I pray that he will! I will not be one of those mothers bashing the war and protesting outside of the President's home or even worse, outside a church where a funeral is taking place for a soldier that didn't survive(HOW WRONG IS THAT!!!). But I have a heavy heart and it goes out for those families who will not have their sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers home for the holidays and maybe home forever!

Since tomorrow is a time to thank those that have and are serving our country, please pray for their safe return home and pray for their families for strength and courage! And daily I pray for our government officials to have the wisdom to make the proper decisions regarding our soldiers! Thank you for listening!!!

Athene & Hayleigh Oct. 2005 

Welcome to my world

Hello, everyone. I want to welcome you to my little world. I have created this blog to have a place to store my thoughts, ideas and dreams. But it will also be a place for others to visit to comment on those very thoughts, ideas and dreams and possibly challenge me to alter my visions. I will be posting photos of my family and friends as well as some of my creations. Since I am a right brained thinker, my mind tends to drift onto the creative side and I want to share those thoughts, ideas and creations with you, my online friends. I hope you visit me often and I will try to post daily, even if it is just a quick, "OMG, I don't have a single thing to say today".

It was due to a challenge on www.scrapthatmoment.com that brought me here to create this blog. It is just another dimension to my creativity. Enjoy and I will talk with you soon!